The Emperor

Gung-Gung calls me “princess,” like most grandpas do, like Grandpa does in English, holding things out to me from the Chinatown streets—you like this, Yok Mung? Nui nui, look, you want this? The Mahjong club on Kearny street stretch their lips wide to reveal checkerboard smiles—do you think they get more oxygen through the gaps, Gung Gung?—but the ladies moving like air hockey mallets lob tight throws of disapproval my way in a series of such rapid twitches and jerks that I think I hear their necks snapping with the effort. He shuffles down the street, leisurely examining shoddy oriental robes and murky rings of jade, humming nondescript fragments of melodies I think he made up or maybe he heard them in China; I’m too afraid to ask, too afraid of a, “What you want to know that for?” so I shuffle alongside him, close as I can to his side without holding his hand, because I can’t, because he’s fiddling with a toothpick in his mouth—the toothpick I grabbed from the dim sum place while the lady was screaming table numbers in Chinese, in Chinese, in Chinese again because her microphone was set to echo. The cloudy ring is held out for me to examine, milky white with dendritic patterns of brilliant green shooting throughout. You want this? I shake my head because Mom always told us not to accept everything Gung Gung offers—it makes you look greedy—and Gung Gung chuckles, fitting the ring back in its slot, bragging to the shopkeeper in English he barely understands that his nui nui knows bad jade when she sees it, after all, she is Tso Yok Mung. After all, she is the Jade Princess.

~ToriannaLamba

Tori Meets an Unknown Literary Genius

I have to read The Great Gatsby (again) for my one of my classes. I purchased my copy off Amazon, which might explain some of the things I've found. And the things I've found lead me to believe the previous owner of this book was an idiot. She--actually, that's unfair. I'm just saying "she" because the handwriting looks feminine. Let's call him/her K after one of the biggest idiots I know (not you, Katie). K marked that novel up profusely. Notice how I didn't say annotate. That's because annotating requires interacting with the text intelligently. K does not do this. (NOTE: these are K's markings verbatim)
Let's begin with the fact that every single color in the entire novel is circled. Every single one. Colors are important to the novel, and I could see how K might circle every time Daisy wears a white dress, or the green light at the end of her dock, but then there are some that probably have no bearing whatsoever on symbolism (says the English major). For example:
"[First] a motor hearse, horribly black and wet" (174, bold letters mine).
What other color is a hearse supposed to be. <--See, I don't even merit that with a question mark. That's how much of a not-question it is.
Moving on.
"My own house was an eyesore, but it was a small eyesore" (5).
Here, K underlined "eyesore" and made the note "EYESORE?" (K writes in all caps.) Yes, K. Eyesore. I'm not sure what the question is here. It's a compound noun, and it seems relatively self-explanatory. Eye. Sore. It makes your eyes hurt.What makes your eyes hurt, K?
Well, the sun...
Nick's house is the sun. Does that sound physically possible to you, K?
...No...
That's what I thought.

Conceit is misspelled as "CONCIT" three times between pages 7-9.

"'Why candles?' objected Daisy frowning" (11).
K writes, "PROBLEM W/ CANDLES?" Well, that sounds aggressive. No, K, I swear, I don't have a problem with candles; they're just not my centerpiece of choice!

On page 14, K notes that Jordan is "Ease drop[ping]."

"This is a valley of ashes" (23).
"WHERE ASH FROM?" Clearly, K's figurative thinking extends only to the idea of colors.

When Myrtle Wilson is described, K asks, "THIS TOM'S GIRL? OR WIFE OF WILSON?" This is where we are forced to ask ourselves, "Endearing innocence or sheer ignorance?" I'm inclining toward the latter.

"'Hello, Wilson, old man,' said Tom, slapping him jovially on the shoulder. 'How's business?'" (25, underline K).
"AGRESSIVE." I could see how the slapping might throw you off, K. But you underlined "jovially." I think if Fitzgerald wanted that to be especially aggressive, he would have omitted the "jovially." But maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe "agressive" people do slap jovially.

"Well, they say he's a nephew or a cousin of Kaiser Wilhelm's" (32).
K articulates, "WHO?" No words, K. No words.

"Neither one of them can stand the person they're married to" (33).
"DIVORCE?" There wouldn't be a story if that was the solution.

"[While] his two motor-boats slit the waters of the Sound" (39, underline K's).
This is my personal favorite. "Y CAPITALIZED?" Followed by:
"The moon had risen higher, and floating in the Sound was a triangle of silver scales" (46-7, underline, K's).
"WHAT IS IT?" And then:
"Just near the shore along the Sound" (47, underline, K's).
"BODY OF H2O." Very good, K. I knew you'd get it.

"Philadelphia wants you on the 'phone, sir" (53).
"CITYS WANT HIM?" Let's go back to the logic convo. What is Philadelphia, K?
Well, it's a city.
Can a city call Gatsby?
...No?
That's right.
So who's Philadelphia?
It's a metonymy, and it's much too difficult to explain to someone who doesn't know how to pluralize "city."

"I liked to walk up Fifth Avenue and pick out romantic women from the crowd and imagine that in a few minutes I was going to enter into their lives, and no one would ever know or disapprove" (56)
K accuses, "STOCKER." Well that seems both harsh and invalid. Both stocking and stalking (which I assume K means, but I do presume) involve action, and Nick is more of an observer.

"Miss Baker's a great sportswoman" (71).
"HE CALLS HER A SPORTSWOMAN AND HIM OLD SPORT." Well, yes, K. That's because Jordan literally is a sportswoman.

K notes, "HE HAS WILD PARTIES SO MAYBE DAISY COMES TO SINCE SHE'S IN THE RICH YOUNG WILD CROWD BUT HE DOESN'T DRINK AND SHE DOESN'T DRINK AND THEY WILL BE SOBER TOGETHER AT HIS PARTY." I will note that K is insightful for seeing both Daisy and Gatsby do not drink. And I'm sure that is exactly what Gatsby wants: to be sober together with Daisy. Sounds like a dream come true.

"'Can't repeat the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!'" (110)
"GETTING CRAZY." So crazy. (Unless you missed the sarcasm, K, that was sarcasm. You can repeat the past. My love life is proof of that.)

"Do you want to know why we left Chicago? I'm surprised that they didn't treat you to the story of that little spree" (131).
"Y DID THEY LEAVE CHICAGO?" Context clues, K, context clues.

"I'm not one of these trusting fellas and I don't think any harm to nobody, but when I get to know a thing I know it. It was the man in that car. She ran out to speak to him and he wouldn't stop" (159).
"AH HA! MERTYLE SAW TOM IN THE YELLOW CAR EARLIER THAT DAY AND SHE SAW HIM COMING SO SHE RAN OUT TO CATCH HIM BUT IT WASN'T HIM." I'm digging the enthusiasm, K. It's nice when you finally understand, huh?

"So by that time he knew Gatsby's name" (160).
"EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE KNOWS GATSBY." I think the appropriate following comment would be, "ONE TIME, JAY GATSBY PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE. IT WAS AWESOME."

"At two o'clock Gatsby put on his bathing suit" (161).
"WHY SWIM NOW WHEN HAUNT ALL SUMMER?" What's haunt? What does that mean in the context of this sentence? And for the record, Gatsby can do whatever the fuck he wants. He's the Great Gatsby. How'd you miss that one?

"LIFE ENDS IN H2O LIKE HOW HIS LIFE BEGAN, ROWING OUT TO THE BOAT." Damn, K. You are one heavy motherfucker.

So that sums up my adventure of reading The Great Gatsby again. I hope K and I helped shed some enlightening new perspectives on this wonderful novel. I'd just like to conclude with this statement: I'm going to be a high school teacher one day. Get ready, all you potential Ks.

~ToriannaLamba