The Turtle Car

"Why do you have so much junk in your car?" he asks, while nudging a water gun out of the way with his toe.
"It's not junk," I say. "I'm just well-supplied, that's all."
He raises his eyebrows. "When do you ever need any of this stuff?"
"I have a reason for every single thing that's in here," I say, digging through my purse for my keys, hoping he'll drop it.
Instead, he holds up a baseball bat. "Really?"
"It's for if I ever get attacked. Don't you want me to be protected?"
He rolls his eyes. "Yes, it's perfect for all those times you get attacked inside your car."
"Thanks for caring about my safety so much," I grumble, snatching the bat from him and placing it across my lap.
"Is this a bag of Jolly Ranchers?"
"I get hungry," I say and make a grab for the package.
"They're hard candies," he says, withholding it.
"They tide me over," I snap, getting a hold of the bag and tossing it on top of the bat.
He looks me in the eye, cocking his head to one side, pursing his lips.
I stare right back, thrust my chin out and raise my eyebrows.
His eyes narrow, accepting the tacit challenge.
He holds up a jumbo box of crayons. "Hm?"
"I like to draw."
He shrugs and places the box with the Jolly Ranchers.
He brandishes a fuzzy, pink slipper.
"For when I wear new shoes."
He rolls his eyes and throws it at me. Then, he turns and lifts up a hefty pile from my backseat.
"Wine coasters?"
I open my mouth.
"Eyeliner?" he shoots before any sound escapes my throat. "Batteries? A rubber ball? Superglue? Bubbles? Sunscreen? A curling iron?"
He piles each item on my lap.
"Saline solution? Q-tips? A bamboo cane? A whoopie cushion--?"
"Are you going to take inventory on my whole car?" I ask from beneath my supplies.
"Nail polish?" he continues.
I peek out from behind my slipper and stare at him.
"And," he says, bending down, "the water gun?" He smiles, presenting it to me, looking pleased with himself.
I swipe it from him. "That," I reply, locking my arm into a straight and confident position, directly aimed at his face, "is for my enemies."